


too close (levi x reader)

by sneighl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneighl/pseuds/sneighl
Summary: angst, mentions of death, coma, swearing, fluff-ish ending“levi when s/o dying in their arms, (and possibly getting revived months later???)”gender neutral reader, they/them
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Kudos: 43





	too close (levi x reader)

**Author's Note:**

> its quite long but hopefully worth the read. i tried to keep it as close to the cannon storyline of the first battle with the female titan as possible, i had to change a few things but hope that’s understandable and that you enjoy this if you read it.
> 
> requested by: anonymous on tumblr

”OLOU, WATCH OUT!”  
y/n cried out as their hooks attached to a tree, propelling themself towards their friend and the beast he was fighting. they had already lost gunther, eld and now petra, they couldn’t let him die too. he screamed angrily as he brought his blades down with great force onto the female titans weak spot, her nape, it looked like a perfect hit. y/n felt relief begin to wash over them, that is until their brain processed the sound of his swords breaking. confusion and dread once again took over them while they were still on their way to the scene, before horror set in, as the beast’s left foot came swinging around with such speed and power, they knew that when it made contact with their friend, that was it for him. the tears that they had somehow managed to keep at bay up until this moment now spilled out onto their cheeks, their friends, no, their family, were gone.  
they tried to change direction but their shaking hands and frantic mind didn’t allow them to, their momentum carried them towards the female titan still. noticing them, the monster raised her left arm, causing y/n to fly straight into it as it came towards them, the impact was harsh and would’ve been painful, but y/n felt nothing. the titan backhanded their motionless form with such ease, like she was swatting a fly, sending the soldier’s body hurtling backwards rapidly, until they hit a tree, sliding down its trunk and landing against a branch, leaving a trail of bright crimson blood behind them, the same warm liquid began to pool around their body. eren’s scream could be heard for miles, the rage evident as he transformed into his titan, desperate to avenge his fallen comrades.  
y/n could feel their eyes closing, no matter how hard they screamed at them to stay open, it made no difference. they let them shut for a while, they didn’t know how long, but their mind gradually started to become weaker, the commands to survive were fading along with the sounds of the titans fighting. it was only when a low, trembling voice told them the same thing, with a familiar authority, that they listened and snapped back open.  
“goddamnit l/n you better keep those fucking eyes open” levi’s voice was unmistakable, however his tone was new to them. they had never heard him sound so emotive, in any way, despite the pair being married for the past two yesrs. a man of few words, he was incredibly difficult to read, but the fear and sadness was crystal clear in this moment. he only used her former last name when giving orders, and they weren’t about to defy their captain, not yet at least. they opened their mouth to speak to him, but all that came out was a strangled groan, then more blood. their e/c eyes trained on his steel ones, they saw all of the things he wanted to say, they saw him beg them not to leave him. then they saw them harden as their own stared to close again, shaking their shoulder, he watched them re-open, before beginning to shut again, like a kid who didn’t want to sleep but was too tired to stay awake.  
“stay with me, ok? someone’ll be here soon, hanji’ll help you, you’re going to be ok, i promise, just stay with me” he murmured, pressing his forehead against theirs. he was struggling to keep his composure, he had lost everyone he had ever cared about, he couldn’t loose them aswell.  
“ you’re going to be ok, you’ll be fine you- hey! eyes open! just a little bit longer, you’ll be ok” he repeated, trying to convince himself as much as his partner. his eyes traveled across their form that was hanging limply in his arms like a ragdoll. they undoubtedly had a few broken ribs and a concussion, aswell as bruises covering their front from the initial impact with the female titan’s hand, but the real damage was caused when they hit the tree. any blow to the back and head has the risk of a serious, life threatening injury, but with the sheer force that they hit the trunk, he dared not to think what that could’ve done to his beloved spouse. lifting his hand from its place behind their head, he grimaced at the amount of blood, ‘shit…’, it really wasn’t looking good. he carefully removed his cloak and bundled it up, laying it on his lap, before moving their head to rest on it, the fabric replaced his hand in a desperate attempt to try and control the bleeding. after wiping it clean of the disgusting mix of titan spit from saving eren and y/n’s blood, levi gently ran the back of his hand against their cheek, his knuckles grazing their skin softly and carefully. he held them, whispering the same phrases over and over again, waiting for someone to find them. they flinched slightly as warm, salty tears hit their face, his own eyes squeezed shut now. feeling strangely peaceful given the situation, the voice of reason was completely drowned out now, and an overwhelming urge to sleep, just for a little while, took over their body. they just wanted to rest, they were so tired, and so cold, with a staggered sigh, they started to drift off.  
“levi…” he didn’t move as his friends voice reached his ears. hanji stood still as she took in the sight of the captain kneeling on the branch, holding a seemingly lifeless y/n. she took note of the tears that fell from his face to theirs, she could see his heart breaking.  
“…levi, i’m so sorry”  
“no!” his head snapped up to look at the scientist, before returning down to look at his partner  
“they’re still alive! look, they’re, HEY! y/n! open you’re eyes, hanji’s here, you’ll be ok, you’re-”  
his words were cut off by a hand, slowly raising, shaking while doing so. silence once again, as the hand searched for his face, cradling it once their fingers met with his skin. he subconsciously leant into their touch, needing to feel closer to the person he loved more than anything. normally, the cold metal of their wedding band would be a noticeable contrast to the warmth of their skin, now, however, they felt the same. their eyes opened, just a slither, just enough for him to see that familiar shade of e/c that he loved so dearly. meeting his gaze one last time, their face lifted, showing him a tired smile, one that would’ve brightened his day under normal circumstances, instead of making his heart scream with pain as it did now . he watched in silence as it faded, and their eyes closed, the hand that held his cheek dropped to rest on their stomach. he remained still, staring at them without any words, his eyes wide and his mouth agape as the reinforcements landed on the surrounding branches, no one daring to say a word.  
they stayed like that for a while, motionless, soundless, the air thick with tension and emotion as levi stared at his resting love.  
wiping away her own tears to the best of her ability, hanji slowly walked around the couple, resting a hand on the captains shoulder and squatting down to be able to speak to him.  
“levi, we should.. put them in the wagon, with the others. here… i’ll help you-”  
” i promised to protect them…” he chocked out, his voice cracking when he did so, as he held them a bit tighter to him.  
the scientist rubbed his shoulder slightly, looking away, she had never seen levi in this state before, and it was horrible. even the newest recruits who didn’t know y/n were struggling to keep it together. hanji opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when levi suddenly moved, standing up with them in his arms, before leaping off the branch and making his way over to the medical wagon, leaving his blood soaked cloak behind.  
landing in the wagon, he gently laid their body down against the wooden floor of it, grabbing a nearby sheet and draping it over them, leaving only their hand out. he then sat down next to them, taking that hand in his, waiting for the troops to move out. after a short while, they did. he stayed beside them, holding them the whole time. hanji was also in the wagon, tending to someone’s broken arm. they continued their retreat in silence.  
-  
“HEADS UP, WE’VE GOT COMPANY!” a soldier shouted from behind, looking back, the commander could see two abnormals chasing after what was left of the scouting legion, rapidly closing the gap between them. panic set in, and nearly everyone jumped into action, weather it be to try and think of a way to loose the monsters, or going back and killing one in mikasa’s case. levi, however, remained still and silent. even if his leg wasn’t injured, he would’ve been of no use to anyone.  
“we need to jettison the extra weight, dump the bodies.” came the order of the commander, his eyes briefly glancing over at the wagon of fallen soldiers, before returning his gaze to the front. after a while of deliberation, the soldiers started to load off the corpses, pushing them off the back of the wagon. they landed with heavy thuds, some rolling away, some being trodden on by the beasts who were still in hot pursuit. levis eyes briefly focused on few strands of orange hair poking out of one of the blankets, knowing his squad was now being unloaded. he watched as four bodies hit the ground. they couldn’t afford to pick and choose who to leave behind, everyone had to go, so hanji gently turned towards her friend.  
“levi, its time to-”  
“no”  
“levi you know this has to happen, you can take theirbadge-”  
“i’m not leaving them here!”  
“levi-”  
“they could still be alive, they could-” a sob stopped his words, finally showing the emotions he had pent up since the journey began. he was in denial, the way y/n’s hand hung so limply in his grasp, it was obvious they were gone. nevertheless, hanji decided to check for a pulse, if nothing else to prove to levi that he needed to let them go. reaching under the cloth for their other hand, hanji placed two fingers onto the cold skin of the underside of her friend’s wrist, feeling around, shaking her head slightly. there was no doubt now, no denying that-  
a movement.  
hanji’s fingers stopped, resting on the places she had felt the slightest twitch. seconds felt like hours until another twitch was felt, then another, then another. the slow but continuous pulse meant that, although barely, y/n was alive. levi looked up to see his friend’s shocked expression, making eye contact with her, before she moved to close the back of the wagon, the titans now far enough in the distance.  
“HURRY UP, WE NEED TO GET BACK NOW!”  
the horse’s pace increased slightly as levi stared at his friend with surprise.  
“wait- are they..,”  
“they’re alive”  
-  
from then on was as blur to levi, they raced back to the walls, he held their hand, they arrived in town, the faces were featureless as he glanced around him, the journey back to headquarters,the nurse in the infirmary shouting orders that fell silent to his ears, he could only focus on y/n’s unconscious face as they were pulled away away from him. he struggled to get to them, something was stopping him, or someone. he mindlessly flailed and kicked against erwin’s grip to go with them, until a nurse walked over and closed the door, preventing him from seeing where they had taken them. after an eternity, the doors were opened again and before the nurse could finish telling him he could visit them, he was sat in the chair next to their hospital bed, holding their hand once again.  
tubes, bandages, stitches, bruises and cuts covered their skin. he sat with them, day and night, not daring to let them go. not even getting his 2-3 hours of sleep anymore, he focused all he had on hoping, even praying to gods he didn’t believe in that they would be ok. superstition and religion had never been his thing, but he felt so helpless, he resorted to anything he could think of. y/n, on the other hand, never once woke up. throughout the days, weeks, months since the expedition, they stayed in a deep sleep. he would intently watch the steady rise and fall of their chest, the only thing that reassured him that they were still with him.  
it was coming up to four months since the expedition, since he had seen those beautiful e/c eyes of theirs. he missed them dearly, like every other part of them. he missed the way they would blush slightly when they smiled at him, how they would sit with him, a cup of tea in hand, while looking out at the stars in the night sky. he missed the groggy tone of their voice in the morning, the first thing they would do after waking up was call his name, turning to make sure he was still there. he always was, but they liked to make sure. he could hear it in that moment, their quiet voice saying his name, so clear that it almost seemed real, but he knew better, they were still-  
“levi?”  
that familiar voice broke through his thoughts, and caused his head to snap towards their own, just in time to see their eyes slowly opening, adjusting to the bright lights of the infirmary. calling for the nurse, he held their hand tighter as they gazed up at him, the emotions crystal clear in their eyes.  
“i’m right here, y/n, you’re ok” lifting their hand to his mouth and kissing it gently at the end of his words.  
they sighed, leaning back onto their pillow letting the tears fall now, he did the same, stroking their knuckles with his thumb. they stayed like this until a few nurses came to check on them.  
it would be a long road to recovery, but he knew they had the fight and determination within them to make it to the other side, and they knew that he would be right there waiting for them when they did. he thanked whatever was responsible for keeping them alive, he didn’t know what he would do without them, they were his whole world. he’d have to make sure nothing like this ever happened again, he came too close to loosing them, way too close.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading this if you did, have a good day/night if you see this.


End file.
